(Or, how I went from worker bee to entrepreneur.)

The joy of being a business owner is that you can do what you want when you want, right? Not so much.

People keep telling me that I need to work ON my business, not IN it. Translation: do things to grow your business, let other people do the work of your business. The problem: I don’t have other people. I’m not currently interested in having other people. More to the point, I LIKE doing the work of my business. However, if I want to have a business, then I need to do some of that other stuff too.

The joy of being a business owner is that I am my own task master. At least I won’t throw myself under a bus – like previous employers have done. And if I feel like I need to sue my boss for harassment, there’s a bigger problem at hand because that means that I’ve started to believe that at least one of the many voices in my head doesn’t actually belong to me.

(Yes, these are things I think about.)

I was talking with a networking/referral friend of mine recently – who also has her own business – and she sighed, “To only have one client.” My response: “That would be a job.”

We both cringed.

I’ve been out of the traditional job world for several years now, and I don’t think I could go back. I say this because the jobs I succeeded in were the ones where I got a project and then let free to work on it. This, alas, is the exception to the job world, not the rule.

I thought I’d be someone else’s worker bee my entire career. Then I wasn’t anymore. Then I realized that I was OK with that.

What I’m realizing is that the real joy of business ownership is the discovery process. What am I good at? What could I outsource in the future? When can I start outsourcing? (Oh, please, when can I start outsourcing?!)

OK, the discovery and the option to work in my most ratty-yet-comfortable clothes – those are the real joys of business ownership.

My thinking is changing. I’m building confidence (instead of arrogance). I’m learning to balance the ON of my business with the IN of my business. And, as I’ve said before, I’m a happier person.

Yes, I still have moments of dread, panic, and impatience. What’s cool, though, is they are not debilitating. They generally provide a lesson – or insight into how I might do things differently.

No doubt, this gig isn’t for everyone. However, for those with a passion looking for one heck of a learning experience, it is quite a ride.

-Lorrie Nicoles